27.09.2024
At the same time as I was learning about the Enneagram, I also got back into Socionics for the first time since I dropped it not long after finding out about it, thinking it was just MBTI 2. Turns out, it's way, way better than that! It has everything MBTI lacks, and, most importantly, it makes sense to me! Fortunately, I have the privilege of being fluent in Russian, so I had access to all the Socionics resources internet has to offer.
After reading up on this system, it became clear to me that the reason I couldn't type myself in MBTI was because some types just don't exist there, one of them being ILE. This was a shock to me. When I read up on ILE, I felt like I was finally home after years of aimless wandering! It felt just as good as finding out I am non-binary, maybe even better! It was like typological euphoria! Well, you get the picture. Reading about Alpha quadra, I realized that the reason I couldn't find my place in society was not because there's simply no such place, but because I have this one specific niche that is not very valued in modern society (or was never valued at all). Even before my Socionics era, I noticed I have natural interest in highly theoretical - bordering on esoteric - science, and also philosophy. How the hell am I supposed to survive in this materialistic world with such unprofitable interests (as well as a lack of desire to participate in this capitalist race in the first place)? Well! Socionics has an answer to this question - I'm not supposed to. I'm joking, but also not.
After I grasped the basics of Socionics, I decided it's time to acquaint myself with another typology system I dropped long ago, which is Psychosophy. I must say, reading Syntax of Love by Alexander Afanasyev was one hell of a ride, but despite its quirks, I believe what's written there still holds up. Figuring out my type wasn't that difficult... but only after I gave up on PDB.
Anyway, this section won't be complete if I don't talk about Volition and my reaction to finding out I have it third. I reacted... fine. There was a thought in the back of my mind that I could be 1V, but I dropped it pretty quickly. I have Four in my tritype in Enneagram, so it wasn't difficult to admit that I'm an insecure little dictator who constantly doubts themself and also gives up a bit too easily. When it comes to the 3V description in Syntax of Love, however, I was very skeptical at first. Like, no way that's me, nope. But after rereading it after some time, I found it more relatable than I did initially. Well, later I found out that SoL descriptions are indeed far from universal and some of them are very exaggerated, but 3V description still applies to me almost entirely.
I believe this is the time to address the elephant in the room, that being the way I landed on some of the rarest types in all of the typology systems I mentioned in this series of posts. You are right to be skeptical, and this also sometimes keeps me up at night. Still, my types are tried and tested, and I considered every single possibility of a mistype before deciding that, yep, I'm pretty sure I'm right. In my defense, I must say that I'm pretty lenient when it comes to giving out rare types to other people as well, and I find type gatekeeping to be just another bias, an obstacle in finding out the truth. Nonetheless, I acknowledge that the rarity of types plays an important role and is one of the factors that should be considered in the typing process. I'm not bragging when I say that I'm somewhat eccentric, because this comes with a huge downside - being forever lonely and alienated.